Google Humour

Google has a sense of humour ...
Take 60 seconds to do this. I bet you will past this on to someone else. It's too funny not to.

1. go to www.google.com

2. click on "maps"

3. click on "get directions"

4. type New York in the first box (the "from" box)

5. type London in the second box (the "to" box)

6. hit the "get directions" button just to the right

7. scroll down to step #23

OBITUARY

MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knew for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; appreciating that Life isn't always fair; and accepting that Maybe it was my fault.

Mr. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place: Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teenager suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.

His condition worsened and Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Paracetemol, Sun lotion or a Band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

His funeral had few mourners because his passing largely went un-noticed.


Original by Allen Jesson
See his Blog: thoughts and musings

Pathetic Panasonic

So, I present Brian with a new camera because I think that he deserves encouragement with his photography and this slightly larger model than the Ixus camera, which got stolen, has a better grip and has a stabiliser. Our friend Sophie has one and we were impressed with the results. Lumix DCM FZ7 for the technophiles. It came without a camera case.



After a search on the internet I find that the case for this camera is in the USA. I try to purchase it but I have to register for an account and, yes there is no space to register in the UK. I send them e-mails asking if they ship to the UK. I guess by their lack of response that they don't even e-mail to the UK. Dead end. No-one in the UK seems to have this item so I finally find Panasonic's UK site. Now I will get somewhere . . .



I phone them:


"Hi, I'm trying to track down a camera case for the Lumix DCM FZ7. Can you help?"

"There is one but it is not available in this country"

"Er yes, in the USA?"

" Not in this country ~ we are seeing if they can be made available."

" You mean I can buy a Panasonic camera in this country but not the case for it?"

"There is a case for it ~ but it's not available in this country."

"Mmmm (What a load of rubbish this international corporation is) What do you suggest I do?"

"Go to Jessops and buy a third party case."

"Thank you. Goodbye"

Panasonic are, therefore, pathetic. Buyer beware!

David Weeks MIMC

Out of the blue, but in time for Easter, came an announcement that the President of The Magic Circle has recommended me to be elevated to MIMC which stands for Member of the Inner Magic Circle. This promotion will mean very little to the general public but within the club it means that you have arrived! The award, curiously, is in the gift of the President and is then, by convention, ratified by the council. It is not, like the Associate of the Magic Circle (AMIC) nor Membership (MMC) achieved through an examination.

Ask not the reason why me? Be grateful at the honour bestowed!

Well, thanks.

Kylie Entertained

Here is an edited version of my earlier post in which I get to have fun with Kylie Minougue at her book launch ~ Waterstones 30th September 2006