Horse Play

One man's meat is another man's meat, too.

Whilst I fully appreciate that now, under "elf an' safety", we need to know the entire pedigree of any meat we consume I am exercised into wondering why anyone would 'bridle' at the discovery that they had consumed a lasagne, burger or any other dish comprised entirely of horse meat.

I am reminded of those campaigns in which the consumer was asked to tell 'Stork' from 'Butter' in a blind tasting. It seems that in an unwitting test of the British palate no-one could tell Beef from Horse.

More Haste . . .

Planning for the Future

If we have a high speed train link to the north of the country in 20 years time, who is going to

a) afford to use it when you consider the 'carbon tax' that will be levied upon machinery used

b) need to use it when you consider the possible developments in things like Skype and the increase in the number of people who work from home.

 c) want to use it when it is for people, rather than moving goods?

Perhaps the money could be better invested in developing an Internet network for the entire country that is so blazingly fast that high speed rail travel will seem lumbering by comparison.

Juxtaposition

From a web page advertising holiday breaks is this interesting statistic right next to a promotion for a place in which the statistic is pretty meaningless!

A CHRISTMAS CAROL and the CONJUROR

Time is running out...... Book Now!

Encounter Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim and the Ghost of Jacob Marley in this literary and magical entertainment by Brian Sibley and David Weeks featuring Charles Dickens' celebrated "ghost story of Christmas" as performed at the author's Public Readings in 1858 with amazing interludes of magical bafflement!

The British Library Conference Centre

Friday 9 December at 18:30 

Saturdays 10 December at 14:30

Book tickets here: British Library

Magic for All

October at the Museum of Childhood sees a week of Magic.

'Simply Magic' is Simply Fun.

Book now to avoid disappointment...

A Christmas Carol and the conjuror

Click on the Title and you will be taken to the British Library where you can book tickets!

:o)

Should we move?

and if so, how far should we move and how fast?

Happy Blogday to Brian

You have click on the heading to see what this is all about!

Number Crunching

Hung, and not so well hung, parliament.
All this talk about a coalitions and working together for the good of the country still misses consideration of one particular option.

The BBC has published a very clear visualisation of possible coalition possibilities:

Now look at the votes cast for the parties and the % of the vote for each party:

Add Conservative votes to those for Labour and you get 19,311,005 which is 65.1% of the votes cast.

If politicians really did want a 'Government of Unity' for "the good of the country" then the 59.1% with Lib/Dems is not as good as a Con/Labour cooperation.

Final thought:
If the politicians really had the interests of the country foremost, rather than their own tribal allegiances and lust for power then all the parties would form a ~ Government of Unity ~ a full coalition

Gave me a lift!

There I was standing in an elevator at Queen Mary's Hospital when an elderly woman tottered in and surveying the buttons for the choice of floor declared to the other passengers;

"I'm no good at lifts ~ mechanical"

Whilst the lift is indeed moved by mechanical means of gears, cables and counterweights the actual user interface is purely physical/electronic; push the button whose number corresponds to the floor number to which you wish to travel, and wait.

I smiled, I pressed the button for her in an artistic, rather than mechanical, way!

picture

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue lives on . . .

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

I was tagged

by Brian Sibley
to reveal six things of relatively little importance. Quite hard to do as so many small unconsidered trifles often have far more important consequences in the future . . .



* During a game of ‘chain he’ a friend, at the end of the line, fell and broke his front tooth.

* A small child on a small bike swerved into my bike so that his pedal stopped my front wheel, abruptly - I went over the handlebars and broke my front tooth.

* I went to to a recording of ‘The Frost Programme’ and saw Cleo Laine sing.

* I learnt to drive on a series of old cars and vans and so became used to a variety of control layouts and conditions of vehicle necessitating various ‘tricks’ to keep the engine running.

* During childhood the TV broke down and my family lived for several years with no television, to the scandalous surprise of friends.

* A porter at a hospital where I once worked during the college vacation would often stand, staring into space. He was, he said, trying to work out why his own business, making packaging, had gone bust. He never did reveal his solution!